Ok, so here it goes. Because I want you and those who speak of me to know.
I am glad that I got a chance to speak with you, hear your voice. I did hear that you were upset, and I was sure it had to do with me asking for financial help. I hate asking, I hate people using it against you, I hate that anybody is lacking in what they need and didn't want to ask. It took a lot for me to ask, to call. But, I'm glad I did.
When I got on the phone and you asked me to just listen, agreed, both to you and myself. The first thing you told me is that I don't listen to you and you proceeded to give examples. I was listening, but didn't catch anything and as I was trying to ask you to repeat yourself, you spoke over me and threaten to disconnect if I didn't want to listen. Once, you understood I just didn't understand you, we continued. Well, I'm not going to go over it word for word here. I don't even remember. All I know, is I was so upset I couldn't speak. You knew I was still on the phone and confidently hung up the phone. I just sat. Dumbfounded at what you said, some I agreed to, others I did not. Wondering who is talking to you about me? What or whom where you talking about Is there specific people? Glad I just listened, you needed to get it out. Maybe I forgot some things, but not that much. You said "don't get just one side of the story." I was thinking how appropriate.
Next, I thought, "I need to write a letter." Which is something I've done with you since I was a child, so you'd understand. Then I decided to come here and blog about it all. I am not that great at writing nor grammar anymore, but I am determined. Before I even started this blog post, I updated about everything. I've been depressed and putting it off for a long time, especially after not being able to even log in. Things have been changing in my head and my life, so I knew it was time. Time for me to go back to my quirky, colorful, fun-loving self. To write again on a regular basis, no matter how bad or good it may turn out. I have some ideas. Without you I wouldn't have moved forward. Funny how that works.
So that's what's going to happen. I will address issues you brought up, my other family, the men in my life, past men in my life, negativity, church, cults, feeling sorry for myself. Later though.
I'm am not a licensed