Sometimes people just want to have all the attention in the world on them. They want to believe they are not and have not been in the wrong. Sometimes they will do anything they can to bring another person or persons down. Sometimes they bring others with them that are willing to follow them into the hole.
Sometimes people are jerks. Sometimes they are beyond jerks. Just remember, whatever happens will come back to bite them in the butt.
Sometimes you try to get away from them, but they are so obsessed with you that they will say or do almost anything to keep talking about you and seeing you.
I really hope this isn't and doesn't happen to you, but this is my life. So much is focused on me and mine and our destruction that nobody sees the destruction was already in place by someone we decided to say "no" to.
I look for help only to have those that were to be helping me turn on me. Follow me, spread rumors and lies about me. All without asking me a thing. God will handle it I say, and believe. I pray for them anyway. This has gone on too long. Disappointed, failed and dismissed. I tend to hope that those that seem to prosper in my degradation feel my pain and earn what they deserve.
I should have spoke out a long time ago until someone would listen, but I stopped. Turned it all in and still didn't have clarity. You have to be careful who you talk to about anything. Especially, if you aren't exactly sure but just need to get it out. They might turn out to be your next offender, like one of mine. I know now that there was a connection, how or what I do not know. There was a plan in place. But God has His own plans. So. I sit here, trying to feel safe, while noises of women screaming and yelling for help, music and other sounds are pushed into my space. There is equipment that does it and I know I am not crazy. The crazy ones are the ones that purchase and use these terroristic things on other human beings when they have no right or reason to do so.
President Trump is worried about walls and
Muslims? Well, this is his own constituents hurting others. I didn't ask to have waves bounced off my bed or things in my room or home or anywhere else. I didn't do anything to deserve that or to have these horrific sounds coming into my space. I don't go snitching on stuff I don't consider life threatening, but if it sounds like someone is getting there life threatened I want to be able to know something bad is really happening and that I can do something to help. I'd want the same for myself.
And this is what I think of. I didn't know to scream, I couldn't scream. My heart goes out to those who have the same issue. Just as much as it goes out to those that are able to do so and still no one comes.
I grew up hearing gun shots and seeing all kinds of stuff, but it could have been worse and I'm not so sensitive to those things. It's trusting people I have an issue with. My safety feels compromised. I have all kinds of health issues as a result of this hate and dismissal. Anxiety can make you look like you feel guilty. Forgetfulness can make you look like you are trying to steal. Panic attacks can make you look suspect. Pain can make you look like you are trying to hide something.
All you're trying to do is live and make a living for yourself. Be responsible and take care of business. So, those that side with the offenders and those that just could not take honesty or no for an answer and just get caught up in something as outrageous as terrorism, I pray for you. I pray that you can love. Love yourself enough and have your eyes open enough to see the brainwashing and manipulation that is happening to you. You are not alone, just as much as those of us that are as innocent as can be are not alone. We don't deserve your targeted individual treatment. We don't deserve your spread of evil rumors, just because you didn't get your way.
Anger. It took a long time to calm my anger at these people who have taken so much from me and my family and others. I used to be a lot stronger, but now, it just seems like my strength has to come from God and my clarity as well. I've found out some truths about myself. It helps with them trying to make someone feel guilty or lustful or angry or whatever. They push you into a corner, while all along the devil is at their back ready to strike them down as well. God wins battles and He will win the war.
May God be with you in everything you do. <3
I'm am not a licensed